


I love you

by EleenaDume



Series: In Between the Stars [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chopper is technically there but nowhere to be seen, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Established Relationship, F/M, First time saying I love you (and maybe also something else), Fluff, Fusion of Star Wars Legends and Disney Canon, Heavily implied sexual content at the end, Hera being worried about her reckless idiot, Kanan being a reckless idiot, Love, Past Relationship(s), Post-Mission, Post-Star Wars: A New Dawn, Pre-Star Wars Rebels: Spark of Rebellion, Rebellion, Trust, Zeb isn’t on the ship yet, a bit of angst, growing closer, kanera - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EleenaDume/pseuds/EleenaDume
Summary: Kanan had never been shy about expressing his feelings for Hera – even back when she had still been sure he would just get over her eventually, not yet considering she might grow to reciprocate them eventually.Her first “I love you” doesn’t pass her lips for the first few months after their first kiss... and when she finally says it, it is in a situation where she’s actually trying to tell him how much of an idiot he is for recklessly risking his life once again.Part of a series, but can be read separately.
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Series: In Between the Stars [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709959
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Quick heads up before we get started because that’s something that always confuses people when they first start reading my stories: if I use »« instead of regular quotation marks, it means the person is thinking something and not saying it out loud.

“Hera, listen, I know you’re mad at me, and I deserve it, but could you please stop ignoring me so we can talk about this?” Kanan lowered his head. “I know I fucked up, badly, and it’s entirely my fault that the mission went awry. I’m really sorry. I’ll find a way to replace the cargo we lost, I promise.”

The twi’lek blinked in surprise.

“Wait a second, you... you seriously think I’m mad at you because the mission went wrong?”

She wasn’t sure whether to laugh or to cry. In the end, she decided that neither was a very good solution and instead decided on putting a hand on his shoulder and looking him dead in the eye.

“Kanan, that was far from even remotely being your fault. And that’s not even why I’m mad at you. I’m mad because for some idiotic reason, you thought it was a great idea to risk your life for some stupid crate of spare parts!

“...huh?” He gave her a dumbfounded look. “But I thought we needed those parts?”

“Sure, they would’ve been helpful for some minor repairs on the Ghost. But I don’t want to lose you because of some stupid spare parts, damn it! I love you, and that’s just not worth it,” she explained, her arms crossed.

Kanan blinked.

“Can you repeat that?”

“I- what- Kanan, would you mind keeping to the point? If you don’t listen to me, you can’t exactly complain about me being mad at you.”

He was officially driving her out of her mind.

Kanan barely managed to bite back a laughter – thankfully, he managed to, because laughing was exactly the last thing he should be doing right now, save if his goal was to make her even more livid than she already was.

“No, I... I did listen to you. I just can’t believe what you just said.”

“Why?” She looked at him in genuine confusion. “The idea was more than just idiotic, and-“

He didn’t let her finish.

“Not that part.” Kanan took her hands in his and looked at her with what was quite probably the most lovey-dovey expression she had ever seen on his face. By now, he also couldn’t hold back his chuckle anymore, so he silently prayed to the force so the love of his life wouldn’t murder him before she let him finish. “Hera, you just said ‘I love you’ for the first time.”

She stopped short, blinked, and then went over her past couple of sentences until she realized he was right.

“I... I guess I did.”

She blushed a darker shade of green, and for a moment, she was too flabbergasted to add anything else. Then, she smiled sheepishly.

“It’s kind of silly, isn’t it? We’ve been a couple for months now, and you’ve been saying it all the time since we met, even before we shared our first kiss...”

She was definitely exaggerating now. ...at least a little.

“I... didn’t even realize this was my first time saying it. I didn’t even realize I said it at all. But... it feels right, even if I did take way too much time to finally say it out loud...”

The pilot smiled at him, a lot more shyly than he was used to.

...but Kanan was equally nervous.

“This... might sound a little stupid, but would you mind saying it again?”

Now it was her turn to laugh.

“Yeah, you’re completely crazy for requesting that, and no, I will never say that again. I’m now establishing a rule that only allows me to say it whenever you almost get yourself killed for stupid reasons,” she answered with dry sarcasm as a smile crept across her face.

“I love you, please promise me you will never put yourself at risk for such a stupid reason again.”

“I don’t know what your problem is, it wasn’t even that bad,” he said with a mischievous smile.

“I don’t know under which definition ‘you almost got yourself shot’ equals ‘it wasn’t even that bad’,” the twi’lek commented as she crossed her arms once again.

“Emphasis on ‘almost’. I wasn’t actually shot. And the plating absorbed whatever slight damage the graze shot would have done otherwise.”

Hera rolled her eyes, arms akimbo.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Thank you,” he replied with a cheeky smile.

“Kanan, that wasn’t a compliment.” She sighed, but she couldn’t help but smile to herself. “You’re such an idiot.”

“I love you.”

“I’m not responding to that until you promise me you won’t do something like this ever again, you hear me?”

She said it a lot more strictly and empathically this time, so he gave in to her – at least a little.

“Alright, fine, I promise I will try to avoid risks like that in the future. But I can’t actually promise I will never do it again, because nobody knows what the future holds and I don’t want to lie to you.”

“...it’s a start. I’m okay with that,” she said with a smile.

“I love you,” he repeated, a little expectant, a little teasingly, putting his arms around her neck as he kissed her.

“I love you too.”

She didn’t even try to reach his neck with her hands, instead settling on putting her arms around his hips. Sometimes, it was rather frustrating to her that he was taller than her by at least a head.

Despite them being in a relationship for a couple of months now, all of this still felt rather new to her – love hadn’t been part of her ‘saving the galaxy on her own’-plan. Before she met Kanan, she’d been traveling alone with Chopper for quite some time, and her few encounters with allies had mostly been rather short.

She’d had trouble trusting people for a while – which was perfectly reasonable and logical, considering the situation she was in.

It had taken her a while to start trusting Kanan.

Starting a rebellion was a more than delicate matter, and trusting the wrong people could end more than just badly.

...she’d learned that the hard way about one and a half years prior to meeting Kanan, when she’d somehow come across an imperial spy that had put a vibroblade through her chest as a thank-you for the information she had given him.

The woman still shuddered every time she looked at the scar... it was a constant reminder for her to be careful who she trusted because she might not live to regret it again it if she didn’t.

Luckily, the information she had given to the spy back then hadn’t been anything vital or useful for him – just the coordinates of imperial bases he had likely already known.

It had made her own situation more difficult... but at least it hadn’t put anyone’s life on the line.

That was the exact reason she had grown to be more careful. She had been lucky once – she might not be as lucky again next time.

One day, a mistake like this  _would_ put lives on the line, and some might even be lost because of it... maybe those of allies or civilians, maybe Kanan’s, maybe her own.

That wasn’t what she wanted – but the last option was by far the most acceptable one out of all of them.

»I love you so much. I couldn’t take it if anything were to happen to you. You’re the only person I trust wholeheartedly.«

  
  


The former Jedi put his arms around her as they separated.

“There’s no need for you to be this nervous, or for you to tense up so much. Breathe. Relax. I’m not going to bite you – or jump you, if that’s the part you’re more worried about,” he joked, at which Hera blushed emerald, her lekku twitching nervously.

“I’m sorry, I... it’s just... You know what? Forget it.”

She was visibly nervous and also somewhat embarrassed.

He squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes. The former Jedi then started speaking to her in a reassuring tone.

“If you want to talk to me about something – anything –, go ahead. I’ll listen. And I have no problem with taking things slow, if that’s what you’re worried about. We can move this relationship forward at whatever pace you feel the most comfortable with. I would never pressure you into anything you‘re not ready for.”

He smiled softly at her. Kanan had never loved anyone the way he loved Hera before. He would have laid the galaxy at her feet, if only to be able to hold her like this for all eternity.

“No, I... that’s not it.”

Quite the opposite, actually – which was actually the part that was kind of weird to her and made her so nervous. After her last relationship – if that dumb teenage train wreck could even be called that –, she had been very unsure about when she would be ready to sleep with anyone again... but she’d known Kanan for more than two years now, and nobody she had been with so far had ever made her feel this safe and comfortable and... home.

She smiled as her hand trailed down his shoulder plate, slowly finding its way to its fastener. 

“Maybe I don’t mind not taking things slow with you,” she added as she kissed him again. “Maybe that’s the part that’s scary to me.”

The plate came off, then so did his shirt, and eventually, so did her jumpsuit.

It had been years since she had even been remotely close to going this far with a guy... but she had a gut feeling that this time, there would be nothing for her to regret.

»I love you, and your love for me runs so deep I can see it every time you look back at me. I trust you. And I want you to love all of me.«

**Author's Note:**

> Both Kanan and Hera have dated people prior to each other in this universe – Kanan’s relationships obviously being canon considering “A New Dawn”, whereas Hera’s past relationships are entirely made up – I might or might not go into what exactly happened there at some point, but I’m not sure yet.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Feedback would be much appreciated!


End file.
